Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
