Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
