i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
