angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
