I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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