Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
