There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
