Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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