Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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