i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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