Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
