Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
