how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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