Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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