I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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