i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
