it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I pour the whiskey from now on
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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