Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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