Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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