We won't sleep together?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
