The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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