dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
