I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
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