You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
