Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
