I accidentally burped into my bong.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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