I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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