that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
