Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize