margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
