We won't sleep together?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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