You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
