We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
