Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize