Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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