Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
