i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
