Your face is a jimmy john
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
