I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
ugly people sure do ruin things
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
