i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize