he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
