there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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