i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
