how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
