The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
