They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize