How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
high people should be assigned attendants
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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