Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Randomize
