Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
