i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
It's official drugs can't kill me
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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