I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
