Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
