Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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