Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
