who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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