What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
