watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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