sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Randomize
