im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
My dick has a subreddit
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize