Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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