that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
