May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
