and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
