You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
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