i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
