I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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