my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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