Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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