Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
