bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize