how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
